| End of Summer |
[Sep. 1st, 2004|10:55 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "Truckin'" Grateful Dead | ] |
Saw Garden State tonight. Good end of summer movie, no? Kinda depressing, but better than I thought. And how cool is it that Zach Braff has a blog: (http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/gardenstate/blog/index.html)?
College is days away. I'm giddy. :)
Currently feeling nostalgic over the 90's music I've been downloading,
"Breakfast at Tiffany's" - Deep Blue Something
"Long December" - Counting Crows
"You're a God" - Vertical Horizon
among them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2004|12:38 am] |
Went to Yosemite - awesome trip with the fam. We stayed in cozy tent cabins in the middle of nowhere. There was a great ranger at Lake Merced who told us scary bear stories...and my brother and I saw a male mule deer early in the morning at Vogelsang Pass....
Plus, now my brother's gotten me COMPLETELY addicted to Alias, that spy show with Jennifer Garner. I'm averaging 6 episodes a day now that he got season one on dvd. Good God, I need a life.
2 weeks more. Good luck to everyone who's left or who will soon. Let the excitement mount and expectations be exceeded. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2004|10:36 pm] |
"Mona Lisa"
- Guster
If in the morning you look up
Fake a smile and you sigh
Don?t fear the future
In the years to come you?ll learn
I used to sit and watch the pouring rain
I used to wish to be back home again
I hadn?t the strength then
I hadn?t the chance to reveal it
But it?s all in your hands
When do we begin?
Although you?re so sad
Discover things never had
It makes you wonder
A life alone you?ll learn
You?ll learn
When do we begin? |
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| Boulder-hopping and Top Rammen |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|11:09 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "Mona Lisa" Guster | ] |
Wow, so I returned three days ago from the hardest physical and psychological ordeal of my life. It was great fun.
I went on my second High Sierra trip with the one-and-only Steve Mussack and Mark Roberts, Kendra, Ste, Flannery bros. (minus one), Bobby, Kimi, Redondo, Gwalt and my dad. Every day was hard but spectacularly beautiful. I'll never forget bouldering up a STEEP mountain with a thunderstorm brewing, only realizing that going down was far more arduous. I can't thank Gwalt and Mussack enough for saving me from falling through deep crevasses and snow fields many times. Oh, and the flannerys left me crapping my pants (not literally) with laughter every night, which made me forget sore muscles, a stomachache, and blisters. Plus, jumping (feet first) off a big rock into a BRISK sierra lake was....liberating....once I got past the inability-to-breathe part.
The experience cleaned out my mind as per usual. I think all the people I was with were downright cool. They were more positive, strong and upbeat than I could pretend to be.
How do I put pictures on here? |
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| Movie Nights |
[Jul. 10th, 2004|06:55 pm] |
Wouldn't it be cool to have a movie-watching group? Like every weekend night, the same group of people goes to a different person's house to watch their movie of choice?
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2004|05:41 pm] |
TEETH? I'm sorry, it's legs baby. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2004|11:08 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "Float On" Modest Mouse | ] |
Finished two books today (I'd been reading them at the same time) - Emma by Jane Austen and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky. I can't remember when I last did that.
Spent most of the day by myself, which I also haven't really done in a while. I'm good company.
Thinking about old friends, and wondering where they've gone...Things have quieted down so much. I like that, but it brings moments of restlessness...
I rented Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor and Wuthering Heights (the 1939 Olivier one, of course). I'm a serious geek.
Best part of Emma (the book):
" 'I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. You, you see, you understand my feelings - and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.'"
- Mr. Knightley confessing his love in Emma
I really loved this book, probably as much as Pride and Prejudice, which I really can't remember very well. It's amazing how stuffy Jane Austen can really make me laugh and make me feel. She's quite amazing. I think it's because the romances are so understated between the two characters until the end, when the men make love to the women with words...
Best part of Perks:
"There's something about that tunnel that leads to downtown. It's glorious at night. Just glorious. You start on one side of the mountain, and it's dark, and the radio is loud. As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it. It really is a grand entrance."
This book was okay. I really couldn't imagine a more disturbing, rocky year for anyone, so I understood why Charlie (the main character) had issues. And it bugs me when books are all about a major crapload of someone's problems. And it really doesn't compare with Catcher in the Rye - the writing's not as good. But I liked this passage, simply because I've experienced it before, and I like the last sentence the best - a "grand entrance." That's really what the beginning of next school year's gonna be.
Musings are over, and so ends my day alone. I love having all the time in the world. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2004|12:23 am] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "California" Phantom Planet | ] |
Well, looks like yet another Michael Moore movie, and I really just hope he moves to France someday, where he belongs and can at last be content.
To be fair, I haven't seen the movie, and I don't plan on paying 10 bucks for it. Before I see it (somehow, some way), I want to know the facts, since my experience with Moore before is that his films are not documentaries. They're usually manipulmentaries, or at least opinion pieces. I need to approach them like I approach opinion pieces - in the LA or New York Times - with skepticism and knowledge of the facts.
I've found some pretty interesting articles. The best is this one: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/004/278rxzvb.asp, written by a Democrat against the war.
An excerpt: "Real questions should be continuously asked, and skepticism applied. The kind of skepticism that forces leaders to account for whether they've taken the right course of action. Not the crank, grab bag of stitched-together conspiracies that encourages Moore's political opponents to be reflexively dismissive--and causes the leftish reviewer sitting next to me to say, 'He infuriates me because he makes my arguments badly.'"
Others, if you're interested:
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/26/opinion/26BROO.html
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/Entertainment/Politics/tapper_moore_transcript_040626.html
If you love Michael Moore, no hard feelings. I just want to get the legitimate views of the other side out there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2004|12:12 am] |
Hi, haven't posted in ages, I know that, so shoot me.
I guess I should write about how sad I am about high school being over, and how I'm going to miss everyone so much. But it's weird - I'm happy for everyone and for myself. I'd glad to have gotten through high school - not that I hated it. I just see high school as one of those things you need to get through to break out and grow. Like training wheels. It's time to let it go, it really is, and I'm excited for everyone.
And I really believe that if a friendship is worthwhile and means a whole lot, it will survive the test of time. And if it doesn't, we frankly won't regret it too much - as long as those old friends are doing well, and maybe send a Christmas card once in a while, or maybe an e-mail every few months. Friendships can actually be strengthened that way, when people aren't forced to be together day after day but have to work at it if they mean it. So I'm actually excited about that whole process. I want to see where people I know end up, and I sure as hell don't want them stuck in high school.
Now I have to finish sewing up this part of my life. I've been gradually cleaning out my room, and it's been therapeutic. Not that I have some shady past (notice I never did lead a retreat, due to my lack of crackwhore stories), but I'm sticking the old papers and concerns in a trash can and making the load lighter. That's lovely for someone moving far away...I really need to finish that scrapbook of high school memories that I haven't picked up since freshman year too...
In other news, I finished Jane Eyre. Loved it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2004|12:12 am] |
I'm a really, really lucky girl.
Not just lucky - downright blessed. And not just because of good news this week - it's everything. Everything in my childhood that has gotten me where I am now. It's been a really smooth, wonderful ride.
Tonight was the Talent Show. I think the Talent Show's my favorite Stucil event all year, at least for the past couple years. It's so fun, so relaxing, so random. It makes me feel grateful that I'm in such a cool, gifted class that moves things along at a sleepy Catholic high school. I like our zest.
Good luck everyone in the next few months.
Italian phrase of the day:
Penso di essermi smarrita. "I think I am lost." |
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| Goodbye Little Katie |
[Mar. 20th, 2004|03:16 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "My Back Pages" Bob Dylan | ] |
Today is the last day of my childhood - the last day of age 17.
Well, technically. I mean, I think if I had just one goal throughout my entire life, it would be to stay young at heart.
Interesting: So everyone and their mother has seen Gibson's Passion of the Christ, even Yasser Arafat who says the film's not anti-Semitic. Arafat's not exactly the most credible guy to say that. Wonder if the media will jump on this one.
Not that I at all think the movie's Anti-Semitic. It's not. It's the true story - many Pharisees succombed to evil, but so did the mob of people before Jesus, the Romans, and every human being. Show me a part in that movie that points the fingers at Jews as a people, and not at human beings in general.
But some Germans disagree.
Others just fight their spouses about the movie. |
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| Damn Terrorists |
[Mar. 11th, 2004|08:36 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "I Will Remember You" Sarah McLachlan | ] |
"MADRID, Spain - A series of bombs hidden in backpacks exploded in quick succession Thursday, blowing apart four commuter trains and killing at least 192 people and wounding more than 1,400. Spain at first blamed Basque separatists but a shadowy group claimed responsibility in the name of al-Qaida for the worst terrorist attack in Spanish history." Full Story.
This could keep me from going to Italy.
My parents said that Italy supported Americans in Iraq too, just like Spain. Their local government's pretty screwed up too - tons of train strikes and like no security anywhere. There's a chance I won't go - partly by my own choice - if I'm thinking about this happening to me. Scary shit, my friends. Oh well, if I can't go there are worse things that could happen. I'll chill and get a tan and do homework and meditate on life for spring break.
Or, as my dad told me, we could all just get some Canadian gear. Who would want to hurt Canadians, eh?:
  
In other news - this was a relaxing week. I hope this trend continues... |
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| Beginnings and Endings |
[Mar. 3rd, 2004|06:46 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| | nostalgic | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "She Will Be Loved" Maroon Five | ] |
A lot's happened to me since my last entry. I apologize for the wait. Actually, I can't really remember all that I did. February was really really busy but also successful. Basically, Vice, JSA, Explore USC, March Talon, Netflix, and time with the 'rents.
There's this weird thing about school now. I feel like the senior class is all dissociated - we're all so busy, or at least act like we are, or dealing with sad/big issues or feeling bummed out about school in general. I have senioritis bad - i just don't feel turned on by classes anymore. That's a generalization, but I feel like the days drag.
But in a sense I want the days to be long. When I have time to sit and think back on the past 6 months, they've seriously flown by. And I feel like I've changed quite a bit. I'm ready to move on, but can't imagine moving on. I just can't picture not sitting down in class with the people I've known for the past 4 (or 7) years. And I get to start everything anew - don't think I've had that chance, at least to that extent, since Kindergarten.
I'm feeling content about the last four years, and I'm very glad. I want to try to have some meaningful last few months at the Nade.
I've given up the following for Lent:
1. Negative thoughts about myself or others
2. Complaining
3. getting wrapped up in trivial activities/matters
Taken on:
C.S. Lewis book
Oh, and I love my new church: Prince of Peace.
And I'm obsessed with netflix.
It Happened One Night (1934) - This is a beautiful movie. I forgot how much I love it. I hope love's really like Ellie's and Peter's love in the movie - unexpected, offbeat, and magical.
Alexander Andrews: Oh, er, do you mind if I ask you a question, frankly? Do you love my daughter?
Peter Warne: Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head examined.
Alexander Andrews: Now that's an evasion!
Peter Warne: She picked herself a perfect running mate -- King Westley -- the pill of the century! What she needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day, whether it's coming to her or not. If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd done it yourself, long ago.
Alexander Andrews: Do you love her?
Peter Warne: A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!
Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?
Peter Warne: YES!! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself!
Take care readers. God Bless. Until next post... |
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| Lousy interview, great shopping |
[Feb. 1st, 2004|12:04 am] |
| [ | vibes |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | Bend it like Beckham soundtrack | ] |
I love going to the valley with my mom. As she explains it, it's like going back to the old country.
My mom and I schlepped over to hoity toity Harvard Westlake for my Northwestern interview, which, in a word, sucked. My interviewer was worse than Princeton (say it in snobby voice) curmudgeon who couldn't hear me, this guy didn't let me talk about myself. He talked about HIMself...plenty. And...this is great...he's a HW parent, so he had a copy of the Chronicle, HW's student newspaper. I'd brought some Talon issues for show and tell, and when I pushed him to look at one, he held the Talon in one hand and the Chronicle in the other and smirked at me - the Chronicle's 30 pages, the Talon, 16. What an ass. He didn't even want my resume.
Whatever, it's not like NWstern's my dream school (or at least i don't know if it is yet), but I felt like I totally wasted my time. I'm gonna get to do another interview, and the guy in charge of alumni interviews has been REALLY nice in letting me do that. I hope Wildcats aren't all like my interviewer. ugh.
Went to family jeweler, had lunch at friendly Cafe Cordiale with da mother, and stopped at Bloomies and bought up the joint. Loved it.
My mom and I have the same taste in everything. A MAJOR blessing. |
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| Freedom...sweet! |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|02:41 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | "A Dios le pido" - Juanes | ] |
Listening to a Spanish song, and I don't understand any of it! But it's pretty hot. And I thought at first that it was saying "Adios libido," or "Goodbye, sex drive." :P
On my mind:
I really really liked playing in the park today with dave, sabrina, and spencer. Hide and seek - priceless. God's probably mad at me tho, because I accidentally made Sabrina trip in the sand. A Dios le pido!!!
My tension's leaving. Hmm, I like debating with spencer, but I always get shot down because I don't do my research. Gotta hand it to my favorite Socialist, he does his homework. But it's hard to find info on much that's going on in Iraq or Afghanistan right now - isn't it? I mean, to get a clear picture of what's going on. And if you do find an article on it, there's still holes and half-truths or bias or things that have been proven wrong and right at the same time.
I also feel like it's hard to become completely informed about every political issue while you're in high school when you haven't your whole life. When I was a kid, I didn't really care what Saddam was doing, or what Clinton was doing about bombings in Kenya or terrorism in the Middle East. I pretty much just echoed what my parents told me, and thought of politics as scandal after scandal and boring speeches. Now I care, but I need to catch up on years of putting myself in the dark.
I'm voting in November. I need to know the truth.
Had another thought while spacing out this week. Why did God make Himself so distant anyway? It seems like so much work to really believe in Him - i mean REALLY, like KNOW Him, not just look prayerful and thoughtful at church. Wouldn't it be easier, if he really did love us, to obviously show us? Like, appear to all of us, talk to us. Why do I hear that He answers prayers in a roundabout, not obvious, just-might-be-coincidence way? Why can't we be sure? Why the ambiguity? Why do we have to be alone?
Life would just make a lot more sense if it weren't this way.
I feel like I have no religion right now. My church is splitting apart, we're leaving, my priest is mean. And I'm wondering how people come to believe in God, and if they really do, and believe what the Bible says, or if it's just a show - or a way to comfort themselves. I can't get those thoughts out of my head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2003|11:53 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| | content | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | Walking in Memphis - Mark Cohn | ] |
Today was Thanksgiving again. I have a lot to be thankful for. i think next year i want to take the family to a soup kitchen and serve, because i think that would be more fun and meaningful. i wish school retreats (like Kairos) were like that too. I bond more with people by doing cool things with them, not by sitting at a table for three days talking about "feelings."
A word or two about Kairos: I liked it and I had a lot of fun. But most of it doesn't live up to the hype. Most of it is just like other retreats, only, at least in my experience, more depressing and intense. At emmaus, at least we got outside and did funny things together. At Kairos, there's all this pressure to open up with strangers, where the only way you could bond with them is sitting in the same room hour after hour listening to people talk to you. Why didn't we go outside and look at the BEAUTIFUL views, walk through the woods, do meditations at midnight OUTSIDE? It's strange to me. But I did feel better after the retreat - I think it did make me realize flaws in my faith. But why couldn't they make Kairos more uplifting and fun?
But to all who haven't gone, GO. It was definitely worth it, it just didn't change my life or meet all my expectations.
Hope i'm not ATTACKED by teachers for saying that Kairos just might not be the best time of my senior year. I know they're really really into this thing.
On that note, here's some ways to have a good time living:
HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a
hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your email address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries
with
that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair
dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten
over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level
lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Dont use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if
your
boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're
doing.
For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall
#3."
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
sounds
all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party
because you're not in the mood.
23) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
24) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
25) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" 3rd
time
this week!!!"
26) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
27) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me,
it's
the voices in your head that do."
28) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going
to
have to let one of you go."
29) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!" |
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| College, politics, etc. - the usual |
[Nov. 4th, 2003|05:57 pm] |
| [ | vibes |
| | PMSey | ] |
| [ | song stuck in my head |
| | Josh Kelley - "Amazing" | ] |
I think I have some PMS, but I'll try to remain in a state of rationality.
First, I had this discussion with my parents about whether someone who's great at athletics "deserves" to get into the school of their choice more than someone great at academics. I argued that there IS a bias in favor of athletes in colleges - it's not like colleges offer more financial aid or scholarships or "preferences" (as the Ivies call it) to a great Drama star or someone who does tons of community service or someone with great grades. They go for the moneymakers. And my dad is right - athletes have amazing self-discipline, more than lots of us have in many respects, and I know that especially at our school it's pretty much impossible to get good grades in HARD classes and be great at sports. And I really want great athletes at the college I go to - USC and UCLA and Stanford and Duke look fun partly for that reason, because their teams win so much. And I gripe all the time about how spirit at our school could be better - i can only imagine how good it is at these schools. I know that being a superb athlete is just as much of a legitimate talent as scoring high. It just comes down to which a school needs most, and that value system can suck for lots of people. But then again, that's life anyway, and I need to get real and be thankful for what I've got. 'Nuff said. Please tell me what you think - person who's reading this. :)
Next, I'm getting sick of Bush-whacking in Gwaltney's class. I'm curious to know whether he would read off conservative humor. 'Twould be fun. |
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